I can never claim to know what it is like to be a military spouse, nor veteran. However I can tell you what amazing people they are. Our military selflessly serve you to protect the flag, our country and our freedom.
I am bias as my #1 hero for 30 years is Master Sergeant (Ret.), Robert F. McClintock. My brother served 28 years in the US Army, first 10 jumping into hostel areas around the world in the 82nd Airborne. Thank you Robert, I love you.
The other heroes who don’t always get the recognition are the spouse who hold down the household, children, finances and help their spouses transition out as well as give them a place they call home to release from their daily grind. When you and I go home after 8+ hours (5 days a week), our troops never get to shut off (they work 24/7 for far less money). Now the spouses are their saving grace and keep them grounded.
Thank you Liz for the article, your service and keeping the home fort ready for your husband. He is a lucky man to have you. And thank you Christy for being there for my brother and all the other spouses giving a pillow to your troops at home. ~ The Organic Recruiter
by Liz McLean, Strategic Head of HR & Operations | May 31, 2016
Supporting military spouses/family in their careers—directly shows your support & respect for the service member.
I will be the first to admit that I had a difficult time becoming a “spouse” after leaving the military. I struggled with the fact I had to use my husband’s social security number versus my own and suddenly I wasn’t “expected” to have a career…but instead, needed to ensure I supported my husband’s military lifestyle. Over time however, my appreciation for the role of a military spouse has grown, and my respect for organizations that strive to support the military families has increased ten-fold. Being a spouse is no easy task: a life of uncertainty and unknown…deserves respect.
As this Memorial Day weekend rolled around, I found myself feeling emotion not just as a combat veteran who had dealt with trauma and sadness, but also as a spouse who truly appreciated and understood what it meant as a family member that kept the support going on the home front.
For Example:
- While in the service, my husband and I spent years apart at a given time—high fiving during deployments, or living a part due to training. Being “independently married” is not easy on a relationship.
- Over the past few years by husband has been gone 280+ days out of the year flying his aircraft and I was home alone tending to life, work, my father with cancer, my physical and mental health and making sure our home was a well-oiled machine.
- I was never able to make plans and was having to always “be strong” no matter the situation; I learned what it meant for me to be there for spouses who were also new to the “lifestyle.”
- At times I had to turn my heart “off” in order to focus on the regime….or I just wouldn’t have been able to function alone. Separation means you miss each other’s triumphs, failures, sadness and experiences. It can foster bitterness, resentment and manifest itself in negative ways if not calibrated. Military marriages require EXTRA work.
This Memorial Day my husband (who pins on Air Force Major today) and I sat at Laguna Beach in CA being grateful for one another and discussing that no matter how difficult our journey has been, we are thankful. As I reflected on the importance of being a family support for my husband, I felt proud as a nation in what we are doing to support both the service member and the family in employment.
A few reasons I am personally grateful for my career as a spouse:
- I have a career orchestrating national Veteran employment from a virtual position—with travel. I speak to companies specifically on this topic. If you want to show your support for the military spouse, don’t create roles FOR the spouse, but instead ensure you have opportunities that allow flexibility and/or remote offerings. I feel fortunate that I have run veteran programs since my exit of the service from remote setting and it has yet to play into the stagnation of my career. Military spouses cannot relocate due their spouse’s assignments, which often times put them at a disadvantage. Fortunately, most individuals running vet programs are virtual these days…as veteran employment is a national issue
- Being a part of an organization (Military.com/Monster) whose mantra is “family first.” Military life is unpredictable and being a part of a company that supports the unknowns of the military is priceless. It is a culture that is not replaceable. It is not because the spouse “deserves special treatment,” but there are periods in a military spouse’s life that have extenuating circumstances a civilian will likely never encounter. It is simply being understanding of what pops up in the day to day and not making the spouse feel as though it is assign of weakness to have these intricacies. I see improvements daily in veteran hiring with orgs that emphasize this.
- Being in organizations that recognize military spouses as individuals, not only as the support structure. I take pride in being an individual, who ALSO has the dynamic of being a military spouse. I find it imperative that corporations show that they recognize that individual talents, intellects and skill-sets that spouses bring to the table, not only talents as supporting cast. Just like you cannot fit every military member exiting into the same type of position into your org, you cannot have cookie cutter positions for family members. A truly robust spouse program reaches spouses with their job openings and considers the individual talents.
I salute companies striving to make a difference to not only calibrate their needs for service members, but for those who take the opportunity to create a Veteran Friendly Culture by showing support to those spouses who also wish to have a career.
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